I'm Not Inclined to Resign to Maturity
by Pokemon67
Summary: Summary: It can be tricky for anyone to adjust to life with a baby, but Juliet and Shawn aren't just anyone; they are detective and psychic detective of the Santa Barbara Police department. How exactly are they going to handle life with their newest edition to their family? You don't know, and neither do they.
1. Chapter 1

**Me: I recently finished** _ **Psych**_ **and I** _ **LOVED IT!**_ **Now I'm obsessed with it. I have to wait for my sister to finish it, that way me, her, and my mother can all watch the musical and movie together. Until then, I must distract myself with fan fiction!**

 **This will be a collection of scenes about life with little Starfish. Juliet and Shawn are not married, and Vick is still head of police (so they are living in their house in Santa Barbara). The chapters will be of varying lengths (some will be super short) but I have quite a few already written and will post one a day while they last.**

 **Hope you like it!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the wonderful, brilliant, lovely show that is named** _ **Psych.**_

''I can't do this anymore!'' Juliet exclaimed, throwing down the magazine that kept her occupied for all of five minutes.

''Now, now, you have been saying that going on nine months,'' Shawn replied, not taking his eyes off his video game.

Juliet sighed and threw her head back against the couch. ''I mean it. This is horrible! All this inactivity is driving me insane!''

''Inactivity?'' Shawn scoffed, pausing his game and turning to look at his girlfriend. ''We've just solved the Toby's murder, located the chop shop downtown, and finished _Murder, She Wrote_. Plus, those two cold cases!''

''No, _you_ got to solve them,'' Juliet argued. ''I got to sit here and look at crime scene photos while you, Lassiter, and Gus got to make the arrests. I want to make an arrest!'' She whined. ''I want to step out of the fancy car, take my sunglasses off, do the hair flip, and say 'you're under arrest!'. But no! I have to stay here, on _bed rest.''_ She sighed again. ''I can't do inactivity!''

''Soon you won't have to,'' Shawn reassured, resuming his game. ''Soon we will have to be active all the time, taking care of little Starfish.''

''For the last time, you are not naming our child Starfish,'' Juliet grumbled from her sulking position.

''Why? It's perfectly gender neutral. Which is good, since you won't let us know what we are getting.''

''I like not knowing.''

''Well I don't!''

''Really? Huh, is that why you tried to hack into the doctor's office's records?''

''Gus told on me, didn't he?''

''No, Buzz did after he had to remove you two from the premises!''

Shawn tisked in annoyance. ''He pinky promised.''

''Yes, he said to tell you he felt awful,'' Juliet said dryly.

''Well, it doesn't matter if you approve of the name.''

''Oh, it doesn't?''

''Nope. You will be powerless to stop me when the times comes. All doped up on pain meds, completely unawares that I have already filled out the brith certificate!''

''…You have problems.''

''I like the name Starfish.''

''You know, I will be the one doing all the work bringing this kid into the world, so for you to plan to hijack the naming is really wrong.''

''Hey, I did my fair share of the work.''

''Sure, you got the _fun_ part! I'm the one who'll have to do the rest.''

Shawn shrugged. ''I'd help if I could, but it's nature, Jules. Not my division.''

''Oh! Let's watch Sherlock!''

Figuring it might help her stop complaining about not being able to move, Shawn obliged.

They sat back and watched. After fifteen minutes, Juliet made a reach for the laundry basket to fold, apparently still feeling inactive. After moving it out of her reach three times, and her swiping it back three times, Shawn finally gave up and started helping her (Juliet's mother was coming by, and if she saw her pregnant daughter folding laundry when she was supposed to be resting, there was no telling what she might do to the one who let her do it).

''Hello! Juliet! What are you thinking!''

 _Speak of the devil,_ thought Shawn, hastily trying to hide the laundry.

Juliet's mother came up the stairs and removed the laundry from her protesting daughter's hands. ''Mom, it's fine-''

''It certainly is not!'' Mrs. O'Hara insisted. ''You are not supposed to be working!''

''I'm bored, Mom!'' Juliet complained. ''Besides, Shawn was helping!'

Mrs. O'Hara sniffed. ''Helping would be letting go of that stupid notion of naming my grandchild after a sea creature.'' With that, she stood into the other room to finish the laundry.

Shawn threw his hands in the air. ''What is wrong with the name Starfish?!''

…

It was late. Gus, Juliet's mother, step-father, Lassiter, Marlowe, and Maddie had all gone home after a quick meeting of the new edition to the Spencer family. Henry was on his way to leave, just stoping at the vending machines for a cup of coffee. He walked through the hall to the exit, stopping when he came round the corner. There, standing at the nursery window, was his son, looking through at his newborn child.

Henry had seen his son express a thousand and one different emotions- usually all in the same day. But there was no word in the english language that quite captured the look on his face right now. _Happy_ sounded too weak. _Awed_ was falling short of the mark. ''Night, Starfish,'' Shawn whispered, pressing his fingers against the glass one last time before turning away back towards Juliet's room, that look still on his face.

Henry smiled as he proceeded down the hallway to the exit. He too stopped at the nursery window. ''You've been in the world for exactly three hours and you already got him wrapped around your little finger? I worry for your mother.'' Henry scoffed. ''You'll be a handful- I can already tell.''

Henry walked out of the hospital, smirking to himself. Only time would tell just how much Juliet and just how much Shawn little Margret 'Starfish' Spencer had in her.

 **Me: hope you liked it! Please leave a review and tell me what you think! And feel free to drop some ideas about things you'd like to read about them doing with Starfish!**

 **Happy Writing!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: Thanks to _Mishkin_ and _Oathkeeper13_ for taking the time to review! It means a lot!**

 **I hope you like this next chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

''Spencer, what the _hell_ are you doing?''

''I was summoned here, Lassie,'' Shawn said smugly. ''The Chief requested I come down immediately.''

''O'Hara,'' Lassiter ignored Shawn, turning to his partner. ''Are you aware that-''

''SHAWN!'' Juliet cut Lassiter off, staring at her boyfriend in disbelief. '' _Why_ did you bring our daughter with you!?''

''Told you she'd be mad,'' Gus declared, slamming his car door shut. Shawn just gestured helplessly to the car seat he was carrying.

''What was I supposed to do? Leave her home?''

''How about get a sitter,'' Lassiter grumbled, going off toward the crime scene.

''I didn't know I was working today,'' Shawn called after him.

''So much for being psychic!''

''Why you-''

Juliet threw her hands up in the air.

…

''Come on, honey. It's okay. Shh, Starfish…''

''Hah!'' Shawn yelled, slamming the door behind him. Juliet jumped, and Margret started crying harder.

''Shawn! Great, now you set her off again!''

''You called her Starfish!'' Shawn continued over the baby's crying, ignoring Juliet's accusation. ''You have been over these past few weeks. It's official!''

Juliet got up and handed Margret to Shawn. ''It's only because you keep doing it. Wouldn't want to confuse her now, would I?''

Shawn rocked his daughter, who was crying less now that she had a new face to look at. ''Mommy just doesn't want to admit that Starfish is a cooler name than Margret. Be grateful dear, that the overriding system of nicknaming exists: invented by the parents whose spouse's wouldn't let them pick the name.''

''Starfish is fine as a _nickname_ , I will give you that,'' Juliet interrupted. ''But not as a real, _legal_ name.''

''What's the difference?''

''The difference is when she is called to court to testify against me for murdering you after you named our other kids _Fin_ and _Seaweed,_ the judge will say _'Margret Spencer to the stand'_ instead of _'Starfish Spencer'!''_

Shawn thought of several sarcastic remarks. But out loud, he said, ''Other kids?''

Juliet's face went red. ''It was just an example.'' She nervously began putting dishes away.

Shawn chuckled, rocking his sleeping daughter in his arms.

….

''…O'Hara, I have never been more disappointed in you.''

Juliet stomped her foot at her partner. ''My mom is working today!'' she defended herself. ''I tried leaving her with friends, but they are all working too!''

''It's almost like you didn't plan on it, isn't it Jules?'' Shawn laughed mercilessly.

''You guys have got to get a sitter.'' Gus shook his head as Juliet put her daughter's carseat on the floor of the apartment.

''You're right, Gus,'' Juliet mocked as she fiddled with Margret's blanket. ''We should get a sitter to watch our daughter on the days when we have to investigate murders. Perhaps if the murderers would fax us their schedules…''

''Maybe they could watch her while we solve their crime,'' Shawn considered. Lassiter and Gus rolled their eyes.

…

''-You took my granddaughter to a crime scene not once, but _twice_?!''

Shawn mouthed _I'm so sorry_ to Juliet, who turned red at Madeline's accusation. ''It was an accident,'' she replied weakly.

''I expect this of you, Shawn. But you, Juliet?'' Henry shook his head.

''We are very busy people,'' Shawn defended himself and his girlfriend.

''To busy to arrange proper care for your child while working?'' Maddie asked. Margret shifted in her grandmothers lap, seemingly eager to hear her parents' response.

''…You people really don't understand how murder works, do you?''

''You don't drag a kid to a crime scene, Shawn!'' Henry yelled.

''It's not like we let her lick the evidence! How did you find out anyway?''

''Karen called after Lassiter asked her about whether or not her nanny when Iris was little was trained to deal with delinquents.''

''He _what_?'' Juliet demanded.

''You know, I'm in town for a few days. I can arrange to stay longer if you need help.''

''Mom, you are always welcome to visit. But we are fine!''

''You are going to stop bringing Starfish to work?''

''Yes!'' Both Shawn and Juliet replied. Margret let out a laugh.

 **Me: if you have time, please review! And again, I am happy to take suggestions!**

 **Happy Writing!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Me: Thanks to _Oathkeeper13_ for taking the time to review! It means so much!**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing**

''…Dude, you gotta stay here.''

''Why?'' Gus raised an eyebrow.

''Because,'' Shawn pointed to Margret, who was laying on the couch surrounded by pillows, shaking a rattle. ''I can't bring her to another crime scene.''

''Why not?'' Gus scoffed. ''You did it just last week.''

''Yes! But that was because Juliet had done it two days before so I have to wait until she messes up again otherwise I'll be in trouble!''

Gus tisked in annoyance. ''I'm a pharmaceutical salesman, Shawn! Not a babysitter!''

Shawn put a shocked expression on his face. He picked up Margret. ''But Uncle Gus,'' he said in a light, breathy voice. ''It's me! Starfish! The daughter of you bestest friend! Surely you will make an exception for me!''

''Shawn! No! I-'' Gus protested as Shawn thrust Margret into his arms.

''Thanks buddy! I owe you!'' Shawn raced out the door.

''ARGH!'' Gus groaned. Margret waved her rattle and looked at Gus with an almost offended expression. ''It's not you,'' Gus assured her. He remembered reading an article about how one should always address babies as if they were adults. ''I just hate being forced into something, you know?'' Margret replied by blowing spit bubbles.

Gus sighed. ''Your daddy is always doing that,'' he continued, shifting Margrets position so she was sitting on his lap facing him. She tilted her head, as if listening. ''Always asking my opinion, and then completely disregarding it. If he weren't right all the time, I'd probably be real mad.'' Gus stopped himself. ''Don't tell him I said that; we wouldn't want that head of his to get too big now, would we?''

Margret smiled. ''He doesn't respect your opinion either, does he?'' Gus adjusted the small, pink bow clipped in Margret's light head of hair. ''I don't think I'd be comfortable wearing that all day.'' Margret grabbed Gus' hand and tried to suck on his fingers. ''Ah! No, girl. That's gross!''

Gus lifted her and went to his desk. ''Okay, I was saving this for a Christmas present- don't look at me that way: I like to shop throughout the year, okay? I find great gifts at great prices, all without the pressure that usually comes with the season. So, here.'' Gus opened his drawer and pulled out a toy starfish. ''Suck on that instead of my hand, okay?''

Margret studied the new toy before taking Gus' suggestion and promptly stuffing a portion of it in her mouth. ''Good?''

Margret smiled while sucking on the toy.

…

''…Is the Chief still glaring at me?''

Juliet looked over at the office. ''Nope, she closed the drapes,'' she assured her boyfriend. Shawn sat back in his chair and let out a sigh of relief. ''I guess we have to come up with a plan, huh?''

''What plan?'' Shawn questioned. He rocked Margret's car seat gently with his foot. ''We can't help it if we can't find someone to watch our child _seconds_ after we get a call to come to a crime scene.''

Juliet nodded understandingly. ''You want to try explaining that to Vick again?'' Shawn winced at the mention. ''Thought so.''

''Okay than Ms. Sarcasm, what's your grand plan?''

Juliet sighed and rested her head on her chin. ''I guess we have to go the daycare route. I know,'' she said as Shawn shook his head. ''But we don't really have a choice.''

''You saw that place, Jules! I refuse to send my little girl to any place that resembles the orphanage in _Oliver Twist.''_

''It was awful, wasn't it?''

''Those tiny rooms,'' Shawn recalled. ''Herding the babies in one room, the one year olds in the next- like they are all some sort of experiment group. Plus, that woman is working a side job as a drug dealer.''

''Just because the fridge had smudges on it doesn't mean-''

''That was only part of it. Gosh Jules, keep up.''

''We are getting off subject here! What are we going to do?''

Shawn leaned back again. He glanced around the station, as if it could solve their current predicament. As his eyes fell on Lassie's desk, he got a wonderful idea.

He turned back to Jules. ''~I know what to do~'' He said in a sing-song voice.

…

''No!'' Lassiter replied. ''No!''

''Carlton-'' Marlowe began.

''No!'' Lassiter said again, cutting his wife off. ''No! No! No!''

''No!'' Lilly Nora copied her father from where she stood next to O'Hara, looking at the baby. ''No sir!''

Lassiter pointed to his daughter. ''What she said!''

''Carlton, please,'' O'Hara pleaded. ''It would only be when we both are working. And if it in anyway interfered with plans, or inconvenienced Marlowe, we would figure something else out!''

''It wouldn't be a bother, Carlton,'' Marlowe assured her husband. ''How could that little princess be a bother?'' She looked fondly at Margret, who kept squirming in her mother's lap to watch everyone. Especially Lilly, who kept trying to engage her in play.

''We'd pay you and everything!'' Spencer insisted.

Lassiter snarled. The money was not an issue. ''I am not comfortable with it.''

''Why?'' Spencer pressed.

''Really, Carlton, I don't mind,'' Marlowe said again. ''And like they said, it wouldn't be often; just when they are both working. I'm usually here with Lilly anyway. And besides, if they are both working and not distracted by taking care of Margret, then the cases will get done faster and you won't have to work so hard. Everyone wins! Please, Carlton?''

 _Damn._ With Marlowe looking at him like that, how could he say no? And she had made quite a convincing argument- it would be nice to do a briefing again without having to shout over a baby's cry. ''Only when you are both needed,'' he finally relented. O'Hara and Spencer smiled widely. ''But if she burns my house down, or grows horns-''

''We will douse her in holy water,'' Spencer assured him.

''My child is not possessed, Carlton!'' O'Hara objected.

Lassiter nodded. ''No, your child is not. _His_ child on the other hand…'' Spencer waved playfully.

Lassiter glanced over at Margret, who was ignoring Lilly's attempts to play with her and was watching Lassiter point at her father. She still had her baby blue eyes, and her hair was still too thin to tell whether it would be Spencer's dark brown, or O'Hara's blonde. She had a blue bow on, along with a white shirt under denim overalls. Sitting on her mother's lap, Lassiter could believe she was going to take after her. But there was something in her eyes' that even at only a couple month's old he could see was so _Spencer_ and it frightened him. He hoped for all their sakes' that little Margret grew up to be like her mother.

 **Me: If you have time, please review!**

 **Happy Writing!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Me: Next chapter! Hope you enjoy! Thanks to all who reviewed/favored/followed! It means a lot!**

 **Just wanted to make a note that these stories take place at varying times- here, for instance, Margret is a couple months old.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nada. Well, actually I suppose I own Margret. But other than her, I got nothing.**

Lilly Nora considered herself a practical child. Her father had called her that, and she liked how it sounded. _Practical- concerned with the actual doing or use of something rather than with theory and ideas._ It was such a lovely word and Lilly loved when her father used it to describe her.

Margret Spencer, Lilly came to realize, was _not_ practical. She came to this realization after spending time with the afore mentioned girl.

''Margret! Stop knocking down my tower!'' Lilly yelled at the younger girl. Margret didn't even turn to look at her, but kept staring intently at the now scattered blocks. ''You keep making it fall!''

''Faw…'' Margret tried to pronounce the word.

''Yes- fall! Now this is the third time you've done it so stop it!''

Lilly diligently went to reconstructing her tower. Margret watched fascinated with that look in her eye that made Lilly's father flinch. ''What are you-''

Quick as a wink, Margret knocked down Lilly's half built tower.

''AGH!'' Lilly threw her hands in the air as Margret giggled.

''Faw!''

''Lilly?'' Lilly turned to look at her mother, who was sitting at her desk. ''Is something wrong?''

Lilly pointed to Margret, who was now stacking a few blocks before flinging them across the room. ''She keeps messing up my tower!''

Mother looked at Margret. She came over and handed her a few of the other toys that were in the box next to the girls. ''Here, sweetie,'' she said. Margret grabbed the new object and began biting it. ''Why don't you build your tower over there, honey,'' Mother suggested, helping Lilly move the blocks a few feet away from Margret the Destroyer of Towers. Soon, Lilly was happily rebuilding her tower, and Mother went back to her desk.

A few minutes went by. A _ding_ went off and Mother went into the kitchen. Lilly didn't notice that her mother left the room for a moment, nor did she hear the kitchen sink running water loudly. But she _did_ hear a small _thump_ coming from behind her. She turned and was horrified to find that Margret had crawled over to the bookcase and had flung one of mother's statues on the floor.

Margret smiled at Lilly's horrified expression. ''Faw!''

''Yes,'' Lilly breathe inwardly. ''When you push things, they fall! Are you satisfied now?''

The way Margret was hurriedly crawling toward the next shelf was a clear _no_ to Lilly's question. Before Lilly could shout for her mother, another figurine was on the floor.

''Mommy! Margret's breaking things!''

Mother came hurrying from the kitchen. She quickly picked up the Destroyer and inspected the damage. ''It's okay, nothing's broken,'' she assured her daughter. She sat Margret on her lap and looked at her sternly. ''You don't touch the shelves, Margret! Something could fall on you.''

Margret smiled and looked at the shelves again. ''Faw.''

Mother sighed and placed Margret back on the floor again. ''I'm just going to get your lunch,'' she said, going quickly so as not to leave them alone for too long.

Lily stood up, intending to go over to the table, but frowned when she noticed Margret staring at her. ''What?''

Margret pointed to the shelves and the blocks. ''Faw,'' she insisted.

Lilly shrugged. ''Things fall. What more do you want?''

Margret bit her fingers, that look in her eye again.

 **Me: I hope you like it! Please review if you have time- they really make my day!**

 **Happy Writing!**


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